The Emoblopedia--An Interactive Anthology

Welcome to the emoblopedia, an emotional blog encyclopedia that archives thought-provoking entries. It is organized both by larger umbrella topics such as "treatments" or "adoption" as well as by smaller subcategories such as "deciding to proceed with IVF" or "getting through the homestudy." An emoblopedia is an archive of the emotional journey--a series of posts that a person can read when they feel alone and want their emotions confirmed (click here for the original post kicking off the creation of the emoblopedia).

Even though the entry you may be reading was written weeks or years ago, the information can still help you emotionally on your journey. And since all posts come from the blogs of men and women experiencing infertility or pregnancy loss, please leave them compliments or questions in the comments section of their entry. Blogs are an interactive communication form.

In addition, if you have used the emoblopedia and have a blog that touches on the emotional side of infertility, pregnancy loss, or related topics (such as adoption or a GLBT experience with conception), please consider contributing links to entries from your own blog. There is no limit to the amount of entries a person can have in the emoblopedia. There is also no time limit--entries that were written four years ago are just as desired as entries that were written this week. You can submit an entry for a category that already exists, or you can start a new category. You can submit each entry that you write or choose only your favourites to pass along.

• To submit category titles, send an email with the new category name to Melissa at thetowncriers@gmail.com.
  

• To submit an entry for an existing category, send an email with the url address of the post as well as the url address for the main page of your blog to Melissa at thetowncriers@gmail.com.

• All other questions about the emoblopedia can also be sent to Melissa at thetowncriers@gmail.com.

Scan the index below and click on the hyperlinked topic headings in order to jump to the topic page containing the entries you wish to read.

General Infertility
Receiving a diagnosis
Family relations
Coming out about infertility
Being outed as infertile by another person
Taking a break
Marriage difficulties while trying to conceive
Marriage strengthening while conquering infertility
Depression and infertility
Friendships and infertility
Need a good laugh?
Need a good cry?
Emotions after a BFN (big fat negative)
Acceptance and peace during infertility
Hope and infertility
Infertility: a dirty little secret
Thinking about changing paths to parenthood

Pregnancy announcements and baby showers
Thinking through choices
A day in the life of an infertile woman
How infertility changes you
Anger and infertility
Time and infertility
Finances and infertility
Lifestyle changes for infertility
The ups and downs of the two week wait

Thoughtless comments and other assvice

Treatments
The first time you took Clomid
The dreaded HSG
Laparoscopy
Deciding to proceed with IUI
Deciding to proceed with IVF
Choosing a new RE
Injection classes
The first injection
GBLT experiences with clinics
Fears about starting fertility treatments
Excitement about starting fertility treatments
A mix of emotions about starting fertility treatments
Emotions after a first failed cycle after starting treatments
Emotions after a first failed IVF cycle
Good interactions with the RE or clinic

Terrible interactions with the RE or clinic
Coming to terms with treatment not working
When enough is enough
Deciding to move on from treatment
Hope management during a cycle

Going into another cycle after a failed cycle
OHSS
Becoming a treatment veteran
Waiting to start treatments
Glucophage/Metformin
Treatment stories
Progesterone
Emotions of cancelled cycles
Injection Fun!
Learning from cycles

Adoption
Deciding to proceed with a domestic adoption
Deciding to proceed with foster-to-adopt
Deciding to proceed with international adoption
Getting through the homestudy
Matching with an expectant mother
Birthmothers and children
When adoption plans change (terminating a match)

The emotions of a broken match
The first day feeling at peace again after a broken match
Long periods of waiting

The first time meeting your child
Expecting

Third Party Reproduction
Deciding to proceed with a donor or surrogate
Emotions surrounding the donor or surrogate experience

Living Child-Free
Deciding to proceed with living child-free
Navigating life cycle events after deciding to live child-free
Emotions over stopping treatments
Snappy answers to intrusive questions
The moment you stopped feeling childless and started feeling child-free
Stopping treatments doesn't stop infertility
Child-free in poetry and literature

Pregnancy Loss, Stillbirth, and Neonatal Death

Coming to a place of peace with loss

Learning that a pregnancy may not be viable
Learning you are having a miscarriage
Remembering terraversaries
The first day you felt good after a loss
Loss and the affect on family
Coming out about loss(es)
When is enough enough?
Coming to terms with recurrent loss
Making the decision to proceed with multifetal pregnancy reduction
Making the decision to proceed with a medical termination
Discovering that you have an ectopic pregnancy
Discovering that you have a molar pregnancy
The roller coaster of emotions
Going back to work after a miscarriage

Receiving pathology results

Pregnancy loss without infertility
Grieving
Losing a pregnancy
Not wanting to be pregnant again after a loss

Pregnancy After Infertility or Loss
Seeing a heartbeat
Being released from the RE
Fears during pregnancy
Doubts about being pregnant
Discovering that you're carrying multiples
Communicating with the OB after being accustomed to the RE
Moving to a high-risk specialist
Ambivalence about impeding parenthood
A child resolves childlessness, but it doesn't resolve infertility

Parenting After Infertility or Loss
Ambivalence about milestones
Postpartum depression
NICU experiences
Joy over holding your child for the first time

Feeling like a mother or a father for the first time

Secondary Infertility
How to come to terms with your new-found fertility-status
What to tell existing children
How to balance secondary infertility with parenting
Friendships and secondary infertility
Emotions and secondary infertility

The Emobloictionary
A glossary of made-up words

Emobloictionary: A Glossary of Made-up Words

Infertourettes: the inability to stop yourself from blurting out information about your own infertility when speaking with others (from this post on The Vicious Cycle of Cycles).

Parent Poseur: those couples who take unecessary actions to remind everyone of their parenthood whenever possible, like ordering a babyccino for their nine-month-old son (from this post on Infertile Fantasies).

P-Bomb: the pregnancy announcement that falls out of the clear blue sky and blows you away (from this post on This is NOT What I Ordered and from Elizabeth at The I Word).

Preganoid: the feeling that everyone around you is pregnant or about to become pregnant (or has impregnated someone or is about to, if male) (from Elizabeth at The I Word).

PregnaDonna: a pregnant woman who keeps reminding you she's pregnant so you can arrange for the universe to revolve around her unecessarily (from this post on Infertility Fantasies).

That Friend: the opposite of a STAR--Someone who has only the best of good intentions, but nevertheless makes you want to tell them to go to hell (from this post on Infertile Fantasies).

Emoblopedia: Secondary Infertility

Welcome to the secondary infertility page of the emoblopedia. Some of the entries below are written by men and women who experienced primary infertility and are now going back to complete their family with more fertility treatments. Other entries are written by those who conceived their first child with relative ease but have since been diagnosed with infertility. We hope that you find reading these blog entries helpful and they bring you a modicum of emotional comfort. They may help you find words to express how you are feeling or show you the light at the end of the tunnel. If you have your own blog and would like to contribute to the emoblopedia, submit all links to entries to Melissa at thetowncriers@gmail.com.

How to come to terms with your new-found fertility-status

• Rant (from Max's Mommy)
• Secondary Infertility (from Max's Mommy)
  

What to tell existing children

• No entries yet

How to balance secondary infertility with parenting

• How Big Is Your Baggage (from My Many Blessings)

Friendships and secondary infertility

• And It Rears Its Ugly Head Again (from Healing Arts)

Emotions and secondary infertility

• Fever (from Max's Mommy)
• Chatter of the Fertiles (from Max's Mommy)

Emoblopedia: Parenting After Infertility or Loss

Congratulations and welcome to the parenting after infertility or loss page of the emoblopedia. If you are reading these entries, you've probably finally achieved parenthood. And, if you're anything like the other stirrup queens and sperm palace jesters in the universe, you are probably terrified and excited at the same time. You may have a touch of ambivalence about being a parent--especially during those early days. You may have been so focused on the adoption or the pregnancy that you never truly resolved your feelings about using your specific path to parenthood. We hope that you find reading these blog entries helpful and they bring you a modicum of emotional comfort. They may help you find words to express how you are feeling or show you the light at the end of the tunnel. If you have your own blog and would like to contribute to the emoblopedia, submit all links to entries to Melissa at thetowncriers@gmail.com.

Ambivalence about milestones

• No entries yet

Postpartum depression

• No entries yet

NICU experiences

• No entries yet

Joy over holding your child for the first time

• No entries yet

Feeling like a mother or a father for the first time

• When I Look Into My Daughter's Eyes (from And Baby B Makes Three)
  

Emoblopedia: Pregnancy After Infertility or Loss

Congratulations and welcome to the pregnancy after infertility or loss page of the emoblopedia. If you are reading these entries, you've probably finally achieved a long-awaited pregnancy. And, if you're anything like the other stirrup queens and sperm palace jesters in the universe, you are probably terrified and excited at the same time. You may have a touch of ambivalence about impeding parenthood. We hope that you find reading these blog entries helpful and they bring you a modicum of emotional comfort. They may help you find words to express how you are feeling or show you the light at the end of the tunnel. If you have your own blog and would like to contribute to the emoblopedia, submit all links to entries to Melissa at thetowncriers@gmail.com.

Seeing a heartbeat

• Wait, Don't Touch That Dial (from Well, Now That We're Here...)
• Uncharted Territory (from A Cop, A Nurse, 3 Dogs, and Maybe Baby)
• On: You Guessed It (from Mission: Impossible)

Being released from the RE

• Comedic Relief (from A Cop, A Nurse, 3 Dogs, and Maybe Baby)

Fears during pregnancy

• Aspen's Story (from The Williams Triplets)
• Joy and Fear (from Princess Smartypants)
• Fear, Shmear (from Princess Smartypants)
• Life and Loss (from For the Flavour)
• On: Freakout (from Mission: Impossible)
• On: OB Fun (from Mission: Impossible)
• On: Not Much to Say (from Mission: Impossible)

Doubts about being pregnant

• No entries yet

Discovering that you're carrying multiples

• No entries yet

Communicating with the OB after being accustomed to the RE

• Nuchal Schmucal (from A Cop, A Nurse, 3 Dogs, and Maybe Baby)

Moving to a high-risk specialist

• No entries yet

Ambivalence about impeding parenthood

• No entries yet

A child resolves childlessness, but it doesn't resolve infertility

• The One With the Mixed Emotions (from Once More, With Feeling)
  

Emoblopedia: Pregnancy Loss, Stillbirth, and Neonatal Death

We want to start out by expressing our sympathies--you are possibly searching this section of the emoblopedia because you fear that you are miscarrying or you have already suffered a loss. We hope that you find reading these blog entries helpful and they bring you a modicum of emotional comfort. They may help you find words to express how you are feeling or show you the light at the end of the tunnel. If you have your own blog and would like to contribute to the emoblopedia, submit all links to entries to Melissa at thetowncriers@gmail.com.

Coming to a place of peace with loss

• Upcoming Terraversary Next Week (from My Many Blessings)
• Acceptance (from Healing Arts)

Learning that a pregnancy may not be viable

• Emotionally Shipwrecked (from Well, Now That We're Here...)
• Welcome Back to Limbo Land... (from A Cop, A Nurse, 3 Dogs, and Maybe Baby)
• Seven is Definitely Not My Lucky Number (from A Cop, A Nurse, 3 Dogs, and Maybe Baby)
• Grief (from Mission: Impossible)

Learning that you are having a miscarriage

• Candle in the Hurricane (from To Be Determined)
• Untitled (from Elevated Umbrella)
  

Remembering Terraversaries

• I Made It Through My EDD - And I'm Really Okay (from My Many Blessings)
• Happy Birthday (from Well, Now That We're Here...)
• My Terraversary (from The Uterine Grail)
  

The first day you felt good after a loss

• A New Version of the Old Me (from My Many Blessings)

Loss and the affect on family

• Daddy (from Healing Arts)

Coming out about loss(es)

• Publicly Acknowledging My Pregnancy Losses (from My Many Blessings)

When is enough enough?

• Beginnings and Endings (from Healing Arts)
  

Coming to terms with recurrent loss

• Am I Too Cynical... (from A Cop, A Nurse, 3 Dogs, and Maybe Baby)

Making the decision to proceed with multifetal pregnancy reduction

• No entries yet

Making the decision to proceed with a medical termination

• Untitled (from Max's Mommy)
  

Discovering that you have an ectopic pregnancy

• It Just Keeps Getting Better (from The Waiting Womb)
• Broken (from Gypsyhick)
• The Hardest Post I May Ever Write (from Journey of Acceptance)
  

Discovering that you have a molar pregnancy

• No entries yet

The roller coaster of emotions

• Memories (from My Journey Towards My Little Miracle)
• Better Than Nothing (from Infertile Fantasies)
• OCD (from Gypsyhick)
• Mondays Are No Good For Anyone (from Gypsyhick)

Going back to work after a miscarriage

• The Motions of Working (from Elevated Umbrella)

Receiving pathology results

• Closure (from Elevated Umbrella)

Pregnancy loss without infertility

• Apples and Oranges (from Elevated Umbrella)

Grieving

• Those of Us Who've Been Down in That Hole (from No Matter How Small)
• Day Twenty-Two (from Max's Mommy)
• Removing the Darkness (from Gypsyhick)
• Broken Continued (from Gypsyhick)
• #11 Complete (from Gypsyhick)
• My RE Has Some Good Crack (from Mission: Impossible)

Losing a pregnancy

• Pregnancy After Infertility (from Unexplain This)
• The Miscarriage (from Unexplain This)

Not wanting to be pregnant again after a loss

• BFN=Relief (from Gypsyhick)
  

Emoblopedia: Living Child-Free

Welcome to the choosing to live child-free page of the emoblopedia. While some people make the choice to live child-free prior to knowing their fertility status, the entries below are from men and women who chose living child-free as their path to resolving their infertility. In the interest of space and the fact that the emoblopedia is housed on an infertility and pregnancy loss blog, we only have entries representing this aspect of the child-free movement. We hope that you find reading these blog entries helpful and they bring you a modicum of emotional comfort. They may help you find words to express how you are feeling or show you the light at the end of the tunnel. If you have your own blog and would like to contribute to the emoblopedia, submit all links to entries to Melissa at thetowncriers@gmail.com.

Deciding to proceed with living child-free

• How Did We Know We Were Done? (from Coming2Terms)
• One Thing at a Time (from Plan B: Life as I Didn't Plan It)
  

Navigating life cycle events after deciding to live child-free

• No entries yet

Emotions over stopping treatments or adoption

• The Good Stuff (from Miss E's Musings)
• Some More Musings (from Miss E's Musings)
• First Comes Love... (from Miss E's Musings)

Snappy answers to intrusive questions

• No entries yet

The moment you stopped feeling childless and started feeling child-free

• A New (Childfree) Chapter: Guilt Not Included (from Coming2Terms)

Stopping treatments doesn't stop infertility

• What Does It Feel Like to Be Someone's Worst Nightmare? (from Coming2Terms)
• He's (Not) Here (from Coming2Terms)
• Complicated and Simple (from Plan B: Life As I Didn't Plan It)
• On the Couch (from Coming2Terms)

Child-free in poetry and literature

• A Poem (from Miss E's Musings)
  
• Little Infertile House (from Miss E's Musings)